JOKES!
1 What time is it when you have to go the dentist?
2 What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
3 What is even smarter than a talking bird?
4What kind of a storm is always in a rush?
5 Why doesn't Dracula have friends?
Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."
The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."
The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."
"Very good!" said St. Peter.
The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted!
RIDDLES
What is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
You are in a room that is completely bricked in on all four sides, including the ceiling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?
Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man got wet! Why?
I killed one fourth of mankind. Who am I?
One day a nanny was looking for a job and saw one in a newspaper so she found an address and talked to the lady and soon the kids come out and they fun up to her and what did they say
1 What time is it when you have to go the dentist?
2 What did the teacher say when it rained cats and dogs?
3 What is even smarter than a talking bird?
4What kind of a storm is always in a rush?
5 Why doesn't Dracula have friends?
Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.
The first blonde said, "Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in."
The second blonde said, "Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus' being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other."
"Nooooo," said St. Peter. "You don't get in, either."
The third blonde said, "Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it."
"Very good!" said St. Peter.
The blonde continued. "Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball."
St. Peter fainted!
RIDDLES
What is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?
You are in a room that is completely bricked in on all four sides, including the ceiling and floor. You have nothing but a mirror and a wooden table in the room with you. How do you get out?
Four men were in a boat on the lake. The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake, yet not a single man got wet! Why?
I killed one fourth of mankind. Who am I?
One day a nanny was looking for a job and saw one in a newspaper so she found an address and talked to the lady and soon the kids come out and they fun up to her and what did they say
Ojh i have number two on my blog to.
ReplyDeletethese jokes are so funny i like the nanny joke
ReplyDeleteHahahah , I thought the one about the blondes was hillarious!
ReplyDeleteGreat Job on the Riddles! They really get you thinking!
ReplyDelete